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Post by Crazy Horse on May 8, 2013 18:33:46 GMT 1
Ian, "I have enlisted the help of two of my neighbours (note the correct English spelling) who are both doctors in the U.S. Air Force to help me have a decent sized taste test." Decent sized taste test? Three of you?  Thank goodness two of you are doctors as you will need all of their expertise after being foolish enough to taste that disgusting imposter Vegemite. I hope you all have sufficient quantities of toilet tissue to alleviate the outcome of so doing and numerous strong paper bags in which to deposit the other expulsion of the aforementioned foul Vegemite. (You will not know which way to turn otherwise). ;D bjp1980, "Tie me kangaroo down sport.... ". Well if that is what you are into (I believe Les Patterson is an advocate) and gives you Aussies pleasure, so be it. We English prefer women.  Flydiver, I believe that you will find that Renard and I are English rather than "Brits". It would seem that almost anyone can obtain a "British" passport these days, no offence to anyone as always. However, to have been born an Englishman is to have won the lottery of life, as someone once said, including me. Whilst indulging my hobby of looking through antiquarian and second hand bookshops recently, I came upon a rather novel leaflet, entitled "American Culinary Delights". It consisted of two pages, one of which was the index. Enough said. May all of your taste buds be sufficiently sensitive to appreciate MARMITE, the one and only, ;D |
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Post by renard80 on May 8, 2013 22:39:12 GMT 1
bjp1980, "Tie me kangaroo down sport.... ". Well if that is what you are into (I believe Les Patterson is an advocate) and gives you Aussies pleasure, so be it. We English prefer women. CH: I am sure you intend to be flippant, but I really think you have gone too far with such an insult. I have two brothers who moved to Australia (they responded to an urgent call for missionaries). From what they have told me, it is clear that no self-respecting, red-blooded, Vegemite-loving Aussie would indulge in dubious practices with a feisty kangaroo, when docile sheep are in such abundance and so much more attractive. Australians, too, have their traditions to uphold, much like our own dear Welsh brethren. So shame on you, CH. You should apologise to our Antipodean cousins. And perhaps send them some Marmite as a peace offering. |
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Post by Crazy Horse on May 9, 2013 7:06:38 GMT 1
I apologise unreservedly and with immediate effect regarding the Kangaroos. The sheep slipped my mind. As for sending them MARMITE, that would be treason Sir.  I have attempted to alert all suppliers and purveyors of MARMITE throughout England that no further supplies should be allowed to leave the country, other than to go to my son who is living and working in Australia. He of course has a discerning palate as do you and I. Even his splendid NZ girlfriend loves MARMITE, what a lady! |
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Post by renard80 on May 9, 2013 11:21:52 GMT 1
To Ian in Alaska and anyone else tempted to try Vegemite:
the following news item appears in my newspaper today. (I am not making this up.)
"A sandwich was hurled at Australia's prime minister as she was mobbed by abusive teenagers.
Julia Gillard was visiting a school near Brisbane when a pupil threw the Vegemite-packed snack at her.
[She] also received catcalls and boos, with pupils yelling 'loser' and 'liar' . . . and her security team had to hurry her through the crowd of angry youngsters.
According to one bystander, the teenagers 'went crazy' and caused 'complete chaos'. "
So what does this tell us? Is it a stark warning of the terrible effects of eating Vegemite? Or was the kid so disgusted with the muck in his sandwich that he threw it in protest?
Either way, the moral is clear: Vegemite is to be avoided.
You will never hear of such behaviour from Marmite-eaters.
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Post by Crazy Horse on May 9, 2013 11:32:52 GMT 1
Renard,
Not even you could make that up!
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Post by renard80 on May 9, 2013 12:20:30 GMT 1
Renard, Not even you could make that up! It gets better! The deadly Vegemite thrower story has become big news in Oz today (presumably a slow news day, or is this what passes for big news down there?). Other media around the world have picked up on it. Anyone with a sense of the ridiculous should immediately Google 'Julia Gillard sandwich'. Stories, pictures, video, all featuring the evil Vegemite! Wonderful! It's certainly given me a few chuckles on this wet and windy day! ;D ;D |
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bpj1980
Flight lieutenant
Posts: 75
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Post by bpj1980 on May 9, 2013 12:34:06 GMT 1
Yes its all true, I think this one has more news coverage than the shoe incident, google that one, could start up a shoe argument here, wellingtons, jandals, thongs, ugg boots, etc etc etc. Hey its just a shame they wasted that perfectly good sandwich on her.... seriously she deosnt deserve Vegemite.... you can have that one back guys, lol....
It apppears the war has begun, so when do the bribes come into play??? Ian you should start asking for money...
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Post by Dillzio on May 9, 2013 15:47:51 GMT 1
I think it's wrong of you tea-drinkers to suggest that us aussies are in some way uncultured or uncivilized for throwing a vegemite sandwich at our PM. First of all, have you actually heard our PM speak? It's enough to encourage me to bring up my lunch, let alone throw it at someone. Secondly, throwing vegemite is a legitimate political protest and in fact a measured act of restraint - those restless youths could have thrown something really toxic, like marmite, or rioted and destroyed half the city like we often see happening after a big soccer game in the UK. BTW crazy horse, yes I have tried caviar, it's not a frequent indulgence but I have at least tasted the expensive stuff, and you sir need to stop bringing up all these references to old-fart pop-culture, with the likes of Barry Humphries and the rest of your 80's pin up boys! If you want to see a present day Aussie icon look no further than Russel Crowe, we like to drink, get into trouble, and make bad movies. You can't eat that kind of stuff, can you? Well, maybe you Brits and Aussies can..... Ah, some input from America, whose invaluable contributions to international cuisine include the Big Mac, Coca-Cola and hominy grits . . . ;D ;D (I do hope any newcomers appreciate that all this p***-taking banter isn't meant to be taken seriously. Is it? ) PMSL that's a bloody good one Renard, I bet Fly could really feel the burn from that one... it's funniest of all because it's true! It's just such a shame that such tact and wit are wasted on an individual that proclaims that Marmite could ever rival the original and the best, vegemite... although I suppose it makes sense now as I recall that it was England that had the incredible foresight to mix curry with chips - true culinary masters! But I digress, for this is all in jest - I mean after all who would have the unmitigated gaul to make fun of the nation that invented classics such as spotted thingy, blood pudding and eggs wrapped in sausage skins. Now I want to leave you all with a little piece of every Australian's childhood, and a video that will no doubt leave you more concerned than ever about the potentially deleterious effects of vegemite: |
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Post by renard80 on May 9, 2013 17:32:28 GMT 1
About time you two Aussies surfaced again. We've been throwing enough bait on the water and finally you've taken it. ;D Dill, thanks for that vintage advert, absolutely great. One of our own adverts, for the superior product Marmite, is more truthful: www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWJlXPfOyBw(Sorry I don't know how to put a video straight onto here.) Now don't start knocking our wonderful spotted duck (yes, that 'u' is really an 'i' but like you I'm trying to avoid the censor . . . ). Also, the whole world except us refers to our scrumptious Black Pudding as Blood Pudding, you wimps. But what's this about 'eggs wrapped in sausage skins'? That's a new one on me. |
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Post by Crazy Horse on May 9, 2013 19:55:54 GMT 1
Oh, I just love all this!
I am going to post more prolifically tomorrow when I have stopped laughing.
BTW, had to go to the hospital tonight as I have a bad infection after my operation. Apparently, the surgeon had come into contact with vegesh*te and passed that cr*p on to me. I am wondering if his mother and father were married.
Really, I do have a bad infection so can I have a bit of sympathy chaps? Especially as I am typing with one left finger and a pencil and hurting like hell. They wanted to keep me in hospital for a few days, but I said no way, I am not a whinging antipodean crim/wimp that eats vegesh*ite.
I am a true Englishman, forbearing, able to take pain without complaint, adversity, troubled times, as long as I have MARMITE on buttered toast to look forward to for breakfast. (courtesy of Lady CH, bless her silk socks).
Looking forward to dinner, curry with chips, magic. Good old lady CH, a gem in the kitchen, directing the activities of our lucky servants who thrive on MARMITE sandwiches for their sustenance.
As regards Russell Crowe, rather short in all departments from what I hear.
No offence Mr. Crowe, please don't sue me.
It is black pudding, not blood pudding and what the heck are eggs wrapped in sausage skins?
MARMITE is the original and genuine, not that pretender vegesh*te. Did I spell that correctly Renard? Forgive me all for any offence, none intended, perhaps a little affected by medication.
As always, I wish you all well,
CH
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Post by iandhunt on May 10, 2013 1:55:02 GMT 1
Ian, "I have enlisted the help of two of my neighbours (note the correct English spelling) who are both doctors in the U.S. Air Force to help me have a decent sized taste test." Decent sized taste test? Three of you? Well, at first it was just me....now we have 300% more people then originally planned!!! SO I guess that qualifies as decent!!!! |
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Post by Dillzio on May 10, 2013 2:48:20 GMT 1
Yes, I finally took the bait  haha, i know it's black pudding, but it sounds so much more gross when you name it by it's key ingredient, hence blood pudding With regards to the eggs wrapped in sausage skins, I'm of course referring to scotch eggs - surely you've heard of them? Thanks for the Marmite ad, and it was good to see that even the Queen's corgie has the good sense to put marmite in it's rightful place, further proof of the innate sense of dogs when it comes to judging character and integrity. I'm sorry to hear about your infection CH, but as a wholistic medical professional I have to consider all the factors that could have lead to your condition, and I'm afraid that a lifetime of eating marmite is ringing alarm bells for me. There's a reason it tastes much stronger than vegemite you know, and I believe it's to do with the concentration of toxic byproducts produced during the anaerobic fermentation of yeast. Us aussies had the good sense to refine it a bit, but obviously the tenacious english aptitude for not doing things in half measures has gotten the better of you. I must admit I had a but of a chuckle at the notion of your servants thriving on marmite sandwiches for their sustenance, I just hope they have good health insurance. You know what, I think i'm going to go have some vegemite on toast, and post the experience online for all to enjoy  |
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Post by Crazy Horse on May 10, 2013 7:26:52 GMT 1
Ah Dill,
I believe that you may be confusing matters here.
A Scotch egg consists of a hard boiled egg, wrapped in sausagemeat, coated in breadcrumbs and then deep fried.
Pulchritudinous, portable and patriotic, food fit for a King, especially when dipped in Hellman's mayonnaise, the full fat version of course.
One doesn't bother with health insurance for underlings, they have the grounds in which to search for natural ingredients for their remedies if required. If any of them become a little "uppity", then we threaten them with a MARMITE imposter that is usually used as rat and mole poison on the estate. It comes under the trade name Vegemite. Soon puts them in their place.
Our estate manager has strict instructions to wear all the required protective clothing when handling and preparing the Vegemite of course.
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Post by Crazy Horse on May 10, 2013 9:02:51 GMT 1
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Post by Dillzio on May 10, 2013 13:15:17 GMT 1
So much for keeping gays out the military.
I can only imagine what those guys must get up to with their Marmite behind closed doors.
None of that funny business going on with vegemite- now that's a spread you can set your watch to!
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